butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
