i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
