i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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