I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
