My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
