i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize