ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
