Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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