They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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