Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize