exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
