highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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