Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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