if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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