Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
