You made me cry and you don't even care
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
