did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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