I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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