Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
