Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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