is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
