This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
