So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
