Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize