is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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