This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
