Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize