Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
