his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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