And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
