If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
