You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
