Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
