This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
