Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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