Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
