You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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