I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
