brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
