I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
