Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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