I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
