I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
