Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
honey bunches of taint.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Randomize
