Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
