just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
