The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
