Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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