Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
