careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
