Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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