Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
