Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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