weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
