giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
